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Silent Messages
Except
when we are alone, we use the rest of our time communicating. Any
interaction creates communication. There are priorities in communication.
First we are seen,
then heard,
and finally understood. Verbal and non verbal communication
coexist.
When we feel confident
and at ease, all the messages we project combine and make a rich
and comprehensible whole.
When, on the contrary,
someone doesn’t express himself directly, or when he tries to camouflage
himself, or to defend himself from other people’s judgment instead
of showing confidence, his voice, his body positions, and his gestures
will betray him
Everything that is not expressed openly
will find other ways to express itself.
In the famous
Mehrabian study the impact of visual images was clearly demonstrated.
During interactions, the impact we make on each other depends, for
the 55% on our images and behavior, for the 38% on our manners,
the sound of our voice, our way of speaking, and only for the 7%
on what we say.
This means that most of the impact is made by non verbal language.
Non verbal language includes: looking directly, gestures, movements,
positions, how we manage stress, personality, humour, enthusiasm,
makeup, hair, accessories, fabric, clothes and their style, colors,
fragrances.
Every time we
set forth into the world we send a silent message. This message
accompanies our words, but if it is not congruent with what we say,
it is the visual message which will be remembered even in our absence,
and, once the first impression is made it’s almost impossible to
change it.
- What does our image say?
- Is it coherent and does it capitalize on positive power?
- Does it work for us or against us?
- Does it show we care for ourselves?
- Does it emphasizes our positive assets and our place in the
world?
- Is it open and confident or defensive?
- Does it show our capacity of interacting openly with others?
- What relationship do we have with our body image?
In time, certain
signs, clues, signals, and presuppositions have
acquired status of non-written law, and have become the constant
values of image. They are recognized automatically by the majority
of people. Ignoring these “codes”, consciously or unconsciously,
means to be excluded by the group or to elicit a negative impression.
To know the codes and use them consciously means to be capable of
managing our image and feel at ease in any situation. To transgress
them consciously and knowingly means being capable of creating a
personal style.
To be aware
of the language of clothes, hair, makeup and body for the image
we want to project is a fundamental element in conscious image management..
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