Prime Time

Confidence

Values
Confidence is part of self-esteem and is the conviction that you are capable of acting, of changing your circumstances to achieve your goals. Usually, we feel confident in certain areas and insecure in others.

This happens because self-confidence is made up of many parts: the value and importance we give to appearance, to our job, to social life, to our friends, to intimate relationships, etcetera.

Imagine that self-confidence is like a round cake. The cake can be cut in several slices, and each of the slices represents a value. Each one of us has different slices in his cake. If we value our appearance a lot, this slice may take up much space in the cake, and we will dedicate much of our energies to our image. Everything that supports or shakes this value will have a strong impact on self-confidence.

Risk Factors
There are some factors that can shake our self-confidence. When we base it on external factors, for example, one day we feel confident and the next insecure. Our world becomes a roller coaster. Everybody has fluctuations in self-confidence, it’s normal. We have to start worrying when mood changes become extreme.

Another risk factor is to have few values. When the cake is cut only in two different slices or two values, if one or both are attacked or doubted we’ll be without support. A third risk factor is to base self-confidence on romantic relationships. When we base our self-confidence on relationships we risk not to have self-confidence when we are not in one.

There are women who feel attractive only when they are in a romantic relationship, and, when they are alone, cannot appreciate themselves. During these periods they do everything to improve their image, but are never satisfied, because the real problem is not their appearance.

Strategies
Is it possible to strengthen self-confidence? Here are few strategies. To strengthen self-confidence from the inside you need to expand the number of values and work to make the slices more even. It’s important to balance the importance we give to appearance and the body with intelligence, work, the social, creativity, the courage to try new things and to live more consciously. This means to appreciate new resources and many of the things we do daily.

Instead of running after perfection we have to appreciate the progress we make and reward ourselves for the effort, not for the outcome. A third way is to act as if we have already self-confidence, even if we do not believe it. This is a little harder, but if we treat ourselves well and do often something easy that we like, that gratifies us, and that has nothing to do with self-improvement, we start building self-confidence.

Inside Outside
When self-confidence comes from the inside has a powerful positive effect also on others. Self-confidence suggests that we are successful and accustomed to be approved; as a consequence, others will approve us. Self-confidence generates approval from others, and when all the elements we present are consistent, we will be judged positively.

Let's analyse in detail each of the elements:

» Clothes
» Colors
» Posture
» Body shape and weight
» Energy, Liveliness, Excitement
» Makeup
» Hair
» Voice, speech
» Confidence
» Gestures
» [ Beauty Unraveled ]

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